in fun


FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK: (and you would find out the same …!)

1) Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer: “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”

2) Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.”
Tech Support: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

3) Customer: “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support: “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer: “I typed ‘A: SETUP’.”
Tech Support: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer: “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer: “No…”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

4) Customer: “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support: ?!%#$ (well pretend to smile)

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

5) Tech Support: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
Tech support: ##### ***
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

6) Tech Support: “What type of computer do you have?”
Customer: “A white one.”
Tech support: ******_____# ###

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

7) Tech Support: “What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Pentium.”

Tech support: ////—–+++
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

8) Customer: “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.”
Tech support: ??????

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

9) Customer: “I have Microsoft Exploder.”

Tech Support: ?!%#$
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

10) Customer: “How do I print my voicemail?”
Tech support:??????

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

11) Customer: “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”

Tech Support: “What does it say?”

Customer: “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support: “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”
Tech support: @@@@@
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

12) Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.”

Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

13) Tech Support: “What does the screen say now?”

Customer: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”

Tech Support: “Well?”

Customer: “How do I know when it’s ready?”
Tech support: *** —- ++++
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

The best of the lot…

14) A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What’s the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

Tech support::10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech guy is frustrated and fed up.

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.10 minutes later.

User: It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech support: How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech support: (hush hush)

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE.

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –

Height Of it all

15) Customer: I need a product identification number right now.

Customer Care Officer: and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust: sure !!!!

CCO: could u left click on start and do u find ‘My Computer’?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.